Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Raja Petra Kamarudin
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste it on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn!
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Anyway, 1% of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers. So people who don’t drink are very dangerous because they cause 99% of traffic accidents.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain ... Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO … Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, 'WOO HOO, what a Ride!'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
1. Eat and drink what you like.
2. Speaking American English is apparently what kills you.
3. 'Today’ is a gift. That is why it is called ‘The Present’.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
happinnes money can buy
cube teka ape kebinatangan ini.
ini adalah satu contraption yg akan melalaikan maknusia.
satu bendalah yang dapat membuatkn masa bergerak lebih laju dari yg sepatutnya bagi 3 dimensi mannusia.
3-4 jam rasa cam semenit.
sekali pegang tengok dh nk maghrib.
asar ke mana.
sesungguhnya stesen bermain(play station) benar-benar demi masa sesungguhnya manusia dalam kerugian..............
self control?
jadual masa bermaen?
oh kamon pelis be realistik.
tua mude kalo pegang mende ni lupe dunia.
lupe daratan dan lautan
gunung ganang tujuh benua.
bumi dan langit.
lupe semesta alam ni luas amat.
kita ni macam kutu di bulu anjeng.
butir pasir di pantai.
bilah daunan di lapangan datar.
sari pati spermatoid hina lagi dina.
satu dalam sebillion gazillion.
kita yang terpilih di bawak kemuka bumi ni.
dan kita pilih tuk abeskan masa main stesen bermain(play station)
main stesen ke
stesen main
bermain stesen
stesen bermain.
kepada mereke yg mengutuk org maen .
nescaya mereka tak penah pegang dual shock key pad
dan rasa teruja bile mendealah tu bergetar.
akin tu sensual pulmonari stimulation aphrodisiac.
mesin citak
huitlet pakerd
dapatkah anda rasa sinaran nya
mengelabui mata?
apa ka hal nya?
bintel core 2 duo
dalam basa malaysia nya teras 2 bergandingan
Captain: Are you ready kids
Kids: Aye Aye Captain.
Captain: I can't hear you.
Kids: Aye Aye Captain!
Captain: OHHHHHHH
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Absorbant and yellow and porous is he!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: If nautical nonsense be something you wish!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Ready?
Captain and Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants,
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: SpongeBob SquarePaaaaannttss!!!
Captain: HA HA HA HA !!!!
Spongebob: (Whistle)
masa muda
masa tua
masa cepat berlalu
state intervention on individualism
oktober
datang dan pergi
ntah kenapa sejak balik dari raya di kedah
lagi tertekan
tertekan untuk post sesuatu dlm blog.
banyak gambo best & karut nk di post dan diceritakan.
this time i shall let it pass.
mlm ini teman baru abes nengok csi
2 jam
sepatut nyer pas tu ade criminal mind
ble plak postpone mggu depan.
such a wierd channel 5.
that why i want to live in jay bee.
got the reception for singaporean channel.
ade satu channel juz tuk berita.
channel news asia.
wicked.
csi season ini tema nye ade sorang serial killer yg suke planning pembunuhan dengan wat miniatur model yg sangat detail.
setiap crime scene ade model dia detail gile.
gus grissom panggei ini delusional psikosis.
dia tak tau killa ni ade photograpik memori.
ye ke?
ataupun memori repression
ke suppresion
ape tah word dia.
killa nya seorang pompuan.
kiut sangat.
sume team csi wat2 tekezut.
pompuan jd serial killer?
thats rare.
kenape girl ni jadi weng.
mase umo baye tadika dia jeles adek dia get more intention.
sekali dia zass adek dia dari tree house.
mati..........
adakah kematian membawa makna kepada seorang budak girl baya tadika.
does it gave meaning to mental perception on life?
well mak bapak budak nie dah bercerai.
sorang bapak nk jaga 2 girl kecik baya tadika.
dia pon jadi weng.
serah kan pada foster care.
at that time girl tu pon dah weng.
lg weng bila sexual harasment.
mkn dlm cube teka ape jadi.
balas dendam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sekali dekat nk ending gus grissom kene siat kt leher ngan girl tuh.
gilek ah
kwn tersentap
terasa urat merih.
cess tp ta nak kasi spoiler.
korang tunggu le tiwi malaysia kuar episod tu.
nk cepat gi donlod torrent.
so ape kejadah nyer state intervention on individualism.
kita ade demokrasi
komunisme
socialisme
paternal autokrat
market liberal
left wing
ring wing
neo nazi
neo kon
sume org nk ekspresi diri masing-masing.
nk popular ideologi masing-masing.
sebenar nye ade satu je yang betul.
yang len sume salah.
apa yang betul sy tanak bagitau.
tuan-tuan dan puan -puan kene cari seneri
tapi orang ramai
orang kebanyakan
tk ade pilihan.
so ikut je ape yg ade pade masa tu.
cube teka ape jadi kt nepal skrg.
pemerintahan beraja dihapuskan dan sekarang maoist berkuasa.
gilek ahh.
ko bayangkan nepalian in red.
org nepal yg keje kat kedai mamak.
kt konstruktion .
yg cuci toilet kat shlopping kompleks.
ade yg berpahaman komunis.
now be very afraid.
we shud be very afraid of our selves.
kebarangkalian per seribu
perjuta
per ratus juta.
at least akan melahirkan seorang psiko.
ur oredy reading a writing of a psiko.
chit chat on raya eve
disclaimer:admin does not feel responsible for any mishap of this post.real identity are protected for time being,read at ur own discretion.
Lucky gal: ko dah balik raya ke belum?
mustafa mustafa: blum tiket penipu
mustafa mustafa: skrg ade kt jay bee lg
Lucky gal: napa?
Lucky gal: ko kena tipu ke?
mustafa mustafa: har har har.....die lak kena tipu....sesungguhnye menipu di bulan posa berdosa....sy dh selamat smpi di kampung yg dh berubah jd bandar
Lucky gal: huhu.. kg dah jadi bandar?
Lucky gal: kedah dah maju ke?? tak samapi 2010 pun dah maju..
Lucky gal: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lucky gal: tapa yg tipu..
mustafa mustafa: sesungguhnye manusia penipu itu ramai di luar sana.trust only urself.
mustafa mustafa: kedah maju dari segi masalah sosial and penyakit masyarakat.
Lucky gal: btol2..
Lucky gal: saya dah sll sgt kena tipu..
Lucky gal: tambh dgn laki..
Lucky gal: cam serik pun ada..
mustafa mustafa: hidup mahazir khalid.........eh dh tukar ek.........
mustafa mustafa: ustad azizan........aaaaaaa.........lelaki menipu anda?
Lucky gal: hehe
mustafa mustafa: ni mesti kes pjm duet pastu tk bayarkn ?
Lucky gal: tak la sampai duit..
Lucky gal: tp psl cinta hahha
Lucky gal: raya anti bg wet raya ke?
mustafa mustafa: tak pun dia ajak mkn pastu anda kena byr?
Lucky gal: tak juga..
mustafa mustafa: owh soal chenta......ini soal hati dan perasaan la ek........cam best.....sy sbgi psiakatris tak bertauliah nk mendengar probs anda....sy bole jadikn study case tuk anak2 murid nti.sudi bercerita?
Lucky gal: hehe
Lucky gal: hmm.. pendek cita.. dia just pretending sayang saya.. sdgkan dalam hati dia ada org lain..
Lucky gal: sabar je la.. penipu besar btol
Lucky gal: dah la saya sayang sgt kat dia..
Lucky gal: plg sedey he was my best friend
Lucky gal: waaa.
mustafa mustafa: sifat lelaki mmg nk lebey....maksimum bole 4...dh ade kancil nk saga baru....pastu avanza.
Lucky gal: fuyo..
Lucky gal: mmg camtu yea..
Lucky gal: sabar je la kaum hawa yea..
mustafa mustafa: dia pretend?anda tahu dia pretend?dia bagitau atau anda assume from deliberate evidence
mustafa mustafa: how far will we go for our love one.........kalo saya di tmpt anda........if i'm in ur shoe......sy akan cantas awek ln.pastikan dia milik sy.
Lucky gal: dia bgtau dia sayang.. tp soal selidik kat kawan2 mmg dia dah lama pun kawan ngan gurl tu..
Lucky gal: dah terlambt nak wat camtu... huhu ptt la dia kata saya tak ada motivasi..
Lucky gal: windu sgt kat dia..
Lucky gal: dia dah mmg suka sgt kat gurl tu.. sampai minta tipsu.. utk kuar date ngan gurl t
Lucky gal: diorg tgh bahgia skrg.. masa tu kl saya cantas pun diorg mmg dah sam2 suka..
mustafa mustafa: owh anda merisik-risik dr kwn dia......1st of all.......his fren is not him.......kita panggei dia lucky boy.kwn lucky boy mane tahu keadaan dia.diorg dengki ke...diorg wat assumption senderi ke.......mulut tempayan bole ditutup mulut org......
Lucky gal: napa saya tak terfikir utk rampas apa yg saya rasa milik saya..
Lucky gal: hmm.. btol juga kan.. mayb dlu dia penah sayang kat saya.. saya yg tak hargai dia..
mustafa mustafa: its never to late for anything....kt malaysia selagi blum akad nikah everything is possible.dh kawen pon ble cerai pas tu ble adjust lagi.
Lucky gal: dia dah cam menyampah je ngan saya..
Lucky gal: saya dah tak ada kekuatan utk suma tu..
Lucky gal: suma jadi sedey ja.. moral pun jatuh..
Lucky gal: psm pun tak siap lg..
Lucky gal: huhu
Lucky gal: tak terlambat ke kl saya nak kejar dia balik?
Lucky gal: nak wat camna?
mustafa mustafa: kata kan le slps anda confront lucky boy....ckp kt dia apa yg kwn2 dia ckp.....baru le mengadjust ngan awek baru......hmmmm.....if only we can turn back time......
mustafa mustafa: owh anda tanya sy ape perlu wat.......mari sy teka apa cara terbaik.....
Lucky gal: apa ye cara terbaik?
mustafa mustafa: academik is academik......ur one great gal if can manage everything all at once....personal is another thing.
mustafa mustafa: akademik anda ada cara sendiri tuk excel....i leave that to you......untuk lucky boy lak.
Lucky gal: ok utk lucky boy camna?
mustafa mustafa: win his heart back......slowly this time.....time will heal everything eventually.......hati lelaki pon lembut gak cam kerak...kena air cair le dia.
mustafa mustafa: but everything has limit in it....dont cross it.....kamu tahu apa yg sy cerita.batas-batas pergaulan.....siti khadijah meminang rasulullah bkn perigi cari timba.
Lucky gal: ok
Lucky gal: saya faham..
Lucky gal: kalo nak win hati dia sy yang kena berubah.. sbb sy byk tak hargai dia..
mustafa mustafa: ape kebende nk wat nk tuk lembutkn hati lucky boy.....dptkn attention dia kembali......use his frens......make them ask bout u at him.
mustafa mustafa: this is experience my dear.
Lucky gal: dia byk tolong sy.. tp sbb sikap emo sy.. dia pun sampai malas nak layan
Lucky gal: hehe cam dah ada link ja.. hee
mustafa mustafa: u learn from mistake.....if u always right and no mistake u be an angle.
Lucky gal: nasib la sy mmg kawan ngan kawan2 dia.. hee
Lucky gal: btol2.. kita bkn angle..
Lucky gal: angel bkn angle..
Lucky gal: nasihat yang berguna.. hehe
Lucky gal: thanks a lot..
mustafa mustafa: this only 1 of approach.........use his pren.....the main thing is get his attention back.....kasi dia lak terfikirkn anda....terbayangkn anda....smpi dia termimpikn anda dlm tidor.
Lucky gal: kalo la ley wat dia jd camtu..
Lucky gal: bestnya..
Lucky gal: ada approach lain ke?
mustafa mustafa: skill tuk smpi dia mimpikn anda dlm tido adalah........solat hajat dan istikharah....gerenti ade respon.kalo anda dpt petanda lucky boy bkn tuk anda apa kata cari happy boy.
Lucky gal: tq... itu lg pentg kan.. tq...
Lucky gal: really a great approach..
Lucky gal: emm
Lucky gal: gtg..
Lucky gal: ada keja ckit..
mustafa mustafa: jumpa awek baru dia.introduce ur self.slow talk.dlm slow talk ckp kt dia bole berambus dr lucky boy life
Lucky gal: ley ka nak wat camtu?
mustafa mustafa: eh ok
Lucky gal: tq sgt2 tau..
mustafa mustafa: nti
mustafa mustafa: sy akn letak dlm blog.identiti akn dirahsiakn
mustafa mustafa: boleh?
Lucky gal: haha
Lucky gal: boley..
Lucky gal: no hal..
Lucky gal: anti sy nak baca..
Lucky gal: haha nti sy cita kat awk k
mustafa mustafa: i mean this conversation we're having.
Lucky gal: bye..
mustafa mustafa: ade la ubah suara sket
Lucky gal: tq tau..
Lucky gal: ok.. boley aja..
Lucky gal: no hal
Lucky gal: buhbye
chat till drop
budaqbaiq: ish..tkjut i tgk muke u
mustafa mustafa: tekezut hapenye kan kiut miut tiut tu
mustafa mustafa: lindi where r u rite now....i miss u like klezy u now?
budaqbaiq: hehe..im in damansara now, werking my ass for living..
budaqbaiq: hakhakhak
mustafa mustafa: u use ur arse po a libing?
mustafa mustafa: damansara ke?bru igt nk belanje.2 mggu lpas aku trun kl buke pose ngan member2 yg dh lame aku lupekn.mgkn nti trun lagi ble melwat ko lak
budaqbaiq: wokey...greatttttt..im waiting for u... :)
mustafa mustafa: slalu aku gi serdang or wangsa maju.damansara kt ne ek?
mustafa mustafa: tu bkn tmpt elitism...ko ade sugar dedi ek?
budaqbaiq: hahaaha..belum ade suge dedi lg..
mustafa mustafa: how com...u shud ave one by now.......jiggle ur bottom a bit more.....eh ko kmpg kt ne?
budaqbaiq: kat kuale slgr..hehe..
budaqbaiq: npe?
mustafa mustafa: saje je tanya ko aku singgah ble gi open house....sejak dua menjak ni hobi aku gi backpacking satu semenanjung malaysia.ujung mggu je tetiba gi bli tiket merayau smpi kuale kangsar.sesat kt kl....
budaqbaiq: haha..
budaqbaiq: pesal la ko ni..
budaqbaiq: nape ko g merayau gitu tapa?
budaqbaiq: nnt jabatan kebajikan masyarakat tangkap ko kang cmne?
mustafa mustafa: adventurism my dear......it gave me adrenalin rush akin to falling in luv.
mustafa mustafa: nk tangkap tangkap la.....badan ini bole dipenjara tapi hati ini bebas.
mustafa mustafa: eh dh nk jumaat la....sori baby i got to go.buhbye.
budaqbaiq: hahaha..
budaqbaiq: ah ko buat aku pening..
budaqbaiq: g solat sane..
budaqbaiq: hahah
satu pagi hari selasa di akhir ramadan
urghhhh!!!
setiap pagi selasa pukul 8.
dari aras lapan bilik 12.
akan kedengaran wonggggg!!!!!!!wooooooonnnnn!!!!!wroooooooong!!!!
dan akan berterusan selama sejam lagi.
bongek tul la.
amarah menguasai jiwa.mula memaki hamun.bahkan sabun pun dicampak-campak.
apsala ko tak sapu pakai penyapu.nk pakai blower tu wat ape.
not so environmentally conscious.
dh la ko nk kena pakai minyak lagi.
smlm sy ke kulai menziarah lagi satu famili.
maaf kali ni xde gambar.
tak berani la pulak.
bila kita kuarkan kamera.
org pandang semacam.
walhal kalo gune camera phone same je la.
intrusion of privasy.
mencabul privasi org pun mcm-mcm cara.
contoh nye sexsual harasmen,cyber bullying.
sekali acct frenster kwn bole kena hack.ditukar nye profile.
bia la teman peduli ape.
kembali kepada keluarga di kulai.
middle class.
tinggal di taman perumahan teres 1 tingkat.
alamak sekali tuan umah xde kt umah.
ble plak kuar.
kan dah janji.sape nk jemput masuk umah ni.
dlm tgk sume pompuan.ade mak dara,anak dara,anak kecil,kanak-kanak.
adoh bahaya tul.
mn lelaki nye.
skrg ni zaman bahaya.
bru ari tu ade org kena bakar.budak 16 taun.
pintu tk berkunci.
kalo kwn ni penjahat y rakus abes le umah ni kena langgar garuda.
mende dh jadi baru nk menangis ayer mata darah.
waima langkah prevensi senang je.
yg lelaki ini pon satu sesenang je tinggal orang rumah camtu.
sayang anak tangan-tangan kan.
sayang isteri tinggal tingalkan.
sayang suami perut kenyang.
sayang ibu bawa ke syurga.
sayang ayah belikan motor harley.
teman dtg bawak soya panas dengan popia goreng otak-otak.
orang umah tuan umah masak maggi goreng.
sesungguhnya cedap sungguh maggi itu.
tuan umah tak balik lagi.
dan kwn terkunang-kunang berbuka puasa sekali.
radio johor stat ngan siren pas tu ade suara budak kiut bace doa.
den baru azan.
kwn dh tambah dua pinggan.
tuan umah tk blk lagi.
ramai betul bebudak umah ni.
orang umah tuan umah amik upah jaga budak.
9 org............peh ble buka day care.
orang umah tuan umah bangun pukul 4 pg buat kueh nasi lemak.
jual di depan simpang masuk tmn.
laku ble masuk rm 100 sari.
so sebulan rm 3000.
rumah 3 blk 2 blk air.
depan dh turap simen.
selang sebelah umah kawasan ladang kelapa sawit.
dari pengalaman teman mengpsikoanalisis minda penjenayah......ini suatu kawasan tk selamat untuk anak-anak berkeliaran bermain.
dlm satu tmn 1000 org.......ade 10% iblis bertopeng manusia celaka.
tk kira bangsa.
tk kira umo.
sekali dh sangap.
nenek ke budak umo 3 taun ke jd mangsa.
urban planning adalah penting.
teman berkira-kira satu unsur penting menghalang untuk melakukan jinayah.
utk pinggan ke tiga baru tuan umah sampai.
selesai mentekedarah.
solat.
tuan umah open table yg dia selalu guna wat jual kueh/nasi lemak.
"air....air!!!!"
smpi air teh panas dgn 3 cwn.
bung....bang....bung....bang.....
politik.........pak lah......anwar......16 mei...
pung.....pang......pung.....pang.....
biznes.....kete.......
"makanan ringan-ringan xde ke?!!!"
zupp tk lama pas tu smpi keropok ikan goreng.
aih senang nye idop ode je.
bole ke camtu.
kalo dh ade understanding no hal.
lelaki menyediakan wanita menerima.
adakah ini dikatakan tanggung dan jawab.
sy terdengar Rasullullah S.A.W. menjahit pakaian sendiri dan selalu membantu melakukan kerja rumah.
sesungguhnya adalah suri teladan yang layak jadi ikutan.
sy balik dengan perut yg kenyang & hati gumbira selesai menyambung ikatan silaturahim.
The vampire is a monster that has both thrilled and terrified people for hundreds of years, from sophisticated Parisian theatre-goers to quaking Eastern European peasants. Elements of the vampire legend are found in North and South America, Europe, and Asia are older than Christianity. Although the modus operandi and physical appearance may differ from culture to culture, one thing remains constant: The vampire is an animated corpse, un-dead and kicking through the intervention of Satan and the warm blood of his living victims.
Few folkloric creations have survived for so long in such diverse cultural and geographic situations, and therefore, there must be something common to human nature to create such universality and endurance. A Freudian interpretation of the myth can uncover such a bond.
A strong tie to the Freudian doctrine of the oral stage of psycho-sexual development is quite obvious. The comfort and pleasure derived from taking nourishment through sucking is merely mutated and certainly exaggerated in the Vampire. Would Sigmund Freud have diagnosed Count Dracula as suffering from an oral fixation? It is not too farfetched. A description of the "oral" character includes a demanding attitude and dependency (on blood?) similar to "clinging like a Vampire" if frustration should occur during the first, sucking phase of the oral stage of psycho-sexual development.
The blood from which the Vampire gains sustenance has definite sexual connotations according to Freud. Blood is sexually important, and even arousing in this case, perhaps because of it's significance as symbolizing menstruation, or the blood shed by a virgin during penetration (as the Vampire's fangs penetrate his victims body during the attack). Beauty is also an element of sexuality, and one woman, Countess Elizabeth Bathory, believed that blood was indispensable to it's preservation.
Countess Bathory was a descendant of Prince Steven Bathory of Transylvania, who in 1446 helped Vlad Dracula to regain the Wallachian throne, about 100 years before her birth. She was a lesbian and a sadist who delighted in torturing buxom, young servant girls while her husband, the "Black Hero of Hungary", pursued glory on the battlefield. She became involved in witchcraft, and developed an interest in blood which soon became rather obsessive.
The torments she inflicted on her hapless victims were specially designed to be as bloody as possible, and she effectively employed razors, knives, silver pinchers (custom-made) and her own teeth to this end. Her interest in gore deepened and gained a new angle when the once exquisitely beautiful countess found her beauty waning and was driven by narcissism and vanity to new heights of perversion. When one fateful day she bloodied the nose of a servant who displeased her, she became convinced that the blood that splashed on her face and hands had erased all lines of age. In order to gain the full benefit of this wondrous treatment, Elizabeth Bathory made it a habit to bathe in the blood of young virgins and attempted to regain her youth through Vampirism. Over a ten year period, the Blood Countess murdered over 700 women until her deeds were finally discovered in 1610.
Freud felt that sex and death were intertwined and demonstrated this through other's desire to preserve (render immortal) ancient objects of beauty as Countess Bathory tried to preserve herself. The death of many famous Vampires can be viewed from a sexual level as well.
The most common form of death for a Vampire comes due to the reception of a stick, knife, or stake through the heart, which can be seen as pointed, phallic symbols. This is a ritual symbolism of sexual penetration. The retreat back into death every morning of the Vampire can be seen as a rebellion against birth (the new day) and an Oedipal retreat back into the womb, symbolized by the coffin, as Freud believed that sexual intercourse was frequently an attempt to regain the womb, as well. Of some interest is the unusual death of Thomas Prest's hero in the famous penny dreadful, "Varney the Vampire" serial. The unhappy blood-sucker plunges to his death in the gaping crater of Mount Vesuvius. The symbolism in the case is rather obvious.
The Vampire myth underwent a great change with the transformation of society as it became more "civilized" and Christianized. The more sexuality was repressed in society, the more it surfaced in Vampire literature.
Peasant lore concerning Vampires was much bloodier that that formally depicted in literature. Instead of merely passing out lethal hickeys, the monster frequently savaged his victims. In many languages, the word for Vampire and Werewolf are virtually the same. It is commonly believed that Vampires could shape-shift into wolves, and in fact that a person who had been a werewolf in life would become a Vampire in un-death.
While one would not bring a hideous beast such as the cadaverous, traditional Vampire home to wilt the flowers with his fetid breath and red-glowing eyes, the Vampire of modern fiction is normally presented as a perfect Victorian gentleman. In Bram Stoker's classic "Dracula", the famous Count even espouses temperance when he declares that he "never drinks...wine."
As civilization progresses, the Vampire story picked up more and more religious undertones, until the Pagan, mindless beast was transformed into a thinking creature aware of his evil nature and therefore greatly pained by the sight or touch of religious articles. The Vampire of ancient lore was not affected by sunlight, and was free to go about its diabolical business in broad daylight with impunity. The modern-day Vampire, however, is not so lucky and is adversely affected by the rays of the sun, representation of holy salvation, and by the dawn of the twentieth century, the heretofore unheard of discomfort and loss of powers suffered by Stoker's Dracula have escalated until the Vampire of the German film "Nosferatu" is completely desiccated by the sun's purifying rays.
The "original" Vampire was easily detectable, as it resembled in everyway a walking corpse, a zombie for all intent and purposes. As society began to increase the repression of it's sexuality, the evident supernatural nature of the Vampire was also repressed until he is seen merely as a pallid, but otherwise normal person. This is indicative of the dark side of man that had suddenly been so utterly buried.
The last thing in the world on the ancient Vampire's numbed mind was sensual pleasure; he was an animal, but Vampire literature and film is more steeped in erotica than in blood.
Evident in the transformed Vampire legend is an overpowering need to pass the buck and transfer dreaded sexual yearnings to a source outside one's self. Previously, it had been extremely easy to become a Vampire, in fact it was a miracle that not everyone was un-dead. If a child jumped over your grave or a cat walked on it, you were doomed. If a Vampire so much as looked you in the eye, forget it. Those with red hair or blue eyes were also suspect as was the seventh in an unbroken succession of same-sex births.
Not so, the modern literary Vampire. Apparently, in a society that has become more complex, the road to Vampirism has become quite simple. There seems to be just one means by which the Dark Gift may be bestowed and that is by surrendering enough blood to the Vampire and in turn drinking some of it's blood -- in other words, and exchange of body fluids.
This implies that the modern day Vampire wanted to become a Vampire and that he or she asked for it. The guilt is shifted from the victim-for-nourishment to the one who has actually chosen to become one of the un-dead. This is an important shifting of guilt to the Vampire, a symbol of buried sexuality from the "victim".
The Vampire in literature is also harder to destroy than its ancestors. While putting garlic in the mouth of the cadaver or pouring scalding water over its grave could extinguish some Vampires, the literary Vampire must have a stake driven through its heart, its head chopped off, and its body burned completely to be laid to rest. Sometimes this is not enough, as the full moon can revive the injured Vampire. This is indicative of the fact that this buried sexuality cannot be completely conquered, and not just a desire for sequels.
There is no denying the sexual element of modern Vampire literature. While the old fashioned Vampire was another form of plague carrying vermin, the new Vampire gave and received sexual pleasure. Freud studied the phenomena of sexual arousal through sado-masochistic action, (the Marchis de Sade himself wrote a couple of Vampire romances: "Justine on les Malheurs de la Vertu" and "Juliette".) and so we can safely theorize that the Vampire not only sucks its victim's blood, but also symbolically takes them to bed. This scene from "Dracula" illustrates just such an event:
The girl went on her knees, and bent over me, simply gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal, 'till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it lapped the sharp white teeth....There she paused, and I could hear the churning sound of her tongue as it licked her teeth and lips, and could feel the hot breath on my neck...I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the super-sensitive skin on my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my eyes in languorous ecstasy and waited....waited with a beating heart.
The mindless Vampire of old had no sexual preference in his victims, because they were mainly just food. The literary Vampire, however, is very selective in his or her choice of victims. While most Vampires of mainstream literature chose victims of the opposite sex so as not to offend, evidence of such is still to be seen in the classics.
In "Dracula", Lucy Westenra, the King Vampire's first pupil in the new World is seen creeping about town as the "Bloofer Lady" and carries home babies on which to feast. Universal Picture's first sequal to "Dracula", "Dracula's Daughter, has a heroine tempted by both a male doctor and a young girl who works as her artist's model. Anne rice's book, Interview with the Vampire", revolves around the seemingly platonic but latently homosexual obsessions of it's principal main characters Lestat and Armand for Louis, and of Louis and Letast's blatant pedophilia toward the tiny five/hundred year old protégé, Claudia.
The modern Vampire has become a master of seduction, which is the operative word. The monster's "victims" are seduced, and whatever pleasure they receive (they usually swoon from pleasure, not pain or terror) is not a direct result of any action on his own part, and is therefor not his "fault" and no guilt may be attached to it.
Count Dracula is always portrayed as a lecherous man after young girls and even Vlad the Impaler, the modern Dracula prototype, is more of a romantic nationalist hero in his own country than a skeleton in its closet. In the Hammer films of the 1960's and '70's, the female vampires are always portrayed as voluptuous wanton women laying in wait for helpless victims. This then extends all the way down the line to "Vampirella" and "Tomb of Dracula" pulp horror comics, and shows the great need in the human personality from absolution of responsibility and pressure in sexual matters.
The Vampire is an example of the ultimate in horror fixation, but he is also the symbol of the need and desire of people to rid themselves of their "impure" sexuality and all of the guilt that is attached. This can be seen in the transformation of the Vampire myth in literature.
As Dracula said in the stage version of the novel: "You fools! You think you can destroy me with your wafers and your wolf's-bane, Me, the King of my kind?! You shall see!" The same is true of the repressed emotions that he represents.
by
Laura Collopy
siri jelajah ziarah ramadan luv luv me benut pontian
owh baru ku tahu pontian tepi laut.
teman seperjalanan untuk hari ini.
in che rashid pensyarah/student phd FKKSA UTM.
penceramah jemputan apa nama.......
sy amek gambar org amek gambar.
sy kurang paham sangat apa majlis ni bertujuan.
kenapa kurang paham?........sebab mereka menolak sebahagian isi al quran dan mengambil yg mn berkenan di hati.
baguih gila bebudak ni.i wish i was like them when i was small.
apa neh bro menunduk kepala menongkat dagu melihat lantai mendngar lagu.
sumbangan utk mereka yg memerlukan.
beratur ye dik amek nombor.
stailo gile ustad neh hesap rokok.
perut dh kenyang bagi makan jin pulak.
cendol boy not gay boy.
mantap gila pontian ade prencais sendiri.
cube teka depan dia ada apa?
ditanggung halam